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蘇蘭和家兵是一對名副其實的\"笨賊\"，除了整天想出一些稀奇古怪的盜竊計劃之外，從來沒有干成過一件事。木訥的家兵深愛著蘇蘭，對她的話惟命是從，可蘇蘭卻一直不接受家兵。\r一天，兩人打算到一所古舊的宅子里偷東西，卻眼睜睜地看著宅子的主人----一對夫妻發生意外死在跟前，更可怕的是他們發現這對夫妻竟然是江湖上大名鼎鼎的殺手夫婦，男的綽號\"狐耳\"，女的綽號\"貓尾\"。蘇蘭和家兵擔心被人誤會，決定溜之大吉，誰料剛走到門口，就迎面碰上一位前來拜訪的客人。客人叫邊靖，是城郊\"寶升煤礦\"的老板，他誤把蘇蘭和家兵當成殺手夫婦，以二十萬的價格請他們去刺殺張佑權縣長，兩人只好假裝答應下來。\r送走邊靖，蘇蘭和家兵決定趕緊逃走。然而第二天，兩人卻被人劫持了，他們被帶到一座豪華的府邸，屋子里坐著的正是縣長張佑權，而他的目的則是請兩人去刺殺\"寶升煤礦\"老板邊靖！原來張縣長也把蘇蘭和家兵誤認作是\"貓尾\"、\"狐耳\"夫婦。\r蘇蘭和家兵徹底傻眼了，他們其實連一只雞都不敢殺，跑又跑不掉，兩方各懷鬼胎，一場暗殺完全成了面對面的決斗。蘇蘭和家兵該怎樣解決這個棘手的問題？張佑權縣長和邊靖老板的矛盾究竟根源于哪？
